Good riddance

Quite an interesting week I had!

 At the start of the week - Monday and the end - Friday I ran into two guys who could have been the man but felt they were too much for me back then. Today, we are certainly not in the same league. The hand of the clock definitely turns around.

I think it was Lighthouse family who sang, “... he left you black and blue without a word of explanation... someday, you will wonder what he see him anyway...” Lighthouse family is so correct. That is exactly how I feel.

I just want to say - thank you Lord, and to them, I say good riddance...

As Cynthia Osokogu is laid to rest: Should we blame social media for her death?

The use of social media in Nigeria is increasingly coming under attack. First it was the Senate President – David Mark, then Dr. Reuben Abati in his article of 26 August 2012 – The Jonathan They Don’t Know, who attacked social media users in what he described as

"…all the cynics, the pestle-wielding critics, the unrelenting, self-appointed activists, the idle and idling, twittering, collective children of anger, the distracted crowd of Facebook addicts, the BBM-pinging soap opera gossips of Nigeria, who seem to be in competition among themselves to pull down President Goodluck Jonathan."

More recently, a lot of people have blamed the murder of Cynthia Osokogu on social media, but I beg to disagree, because I believe that the problem is that as a nation we usually fail to look at the underlying causes of our problems.

 Senator David Mark and Dr. Abati believe that social media has given people the voice to insult the president but the truth is – if the president does right, people won’t insult him. So, it is not so much about social media. Without social media, they will insult him in their homes and little gatherings; social media has only given the common man a voice.

 You have probably heard about ongoing debates in certain states in the US about whether or not people should be allowed to carry guns openly especially given the increased killings on campuses and cinemas. I found a particular lady’s response to Al Jazeera on the issue quite thought-provoking. Her response was –

 “…guns don’t kill people. People kill People.’’

Her response sum-up my viewpoint very nicely.

In every situation, we should look to the underlying problems. Cynthia wasn’t killed because she made friends on social media … she was killed because she met some wrong guys. Like a lot of undergraduates who leave campus with friends or even Pimps to meet strangers on the promise of things as trivial as a Blackberry, Cynthia could have met her killers through a friend.

Back in the day we had pen-pals most of who we had never met. Having a pen-pal was cool. We exchanged letters with them and as a matter of fact, it was encouraged by parents and teachers. Having a pen-pal is pretty much the same as meeting someone via social networking sites in present day. I however don’t recall any records of someone who got murdered by a pen-pal. The bottom-line is that greed, violence, rape, homosexuality, incest, and various forms of immorality are on the rise.

Cynthia was laid to rest yesterday, and as we condole with the Osokogu family, the questions we should ask ourselves are – How can we better protect our young ones? How can we reduce violence and the increasing immorality in our society?

Is every spinster in her thirties under a curse?

If you are a lady, thirty years and over and yet to tie the nuptial knot and living in Nigeria, then somebody might have suggested that you are under a curse and probably need to go for deliverance at the Mountain of Fire and Miracles church. I have found this suggestion quite confusing and so began to ask the question – ‘Is every spinster in her thirties under a curse? After some soul searching, it turns out that my answer is: YES!

Not exactly the answer the ladies were expecting but you are under the curse of a POOR ECONOMY that has caused several women to become bread winners, and men afraid of commitments.

The same curse placed on thousands of Bankers (formerly the most eligible bachelors) who have been today rendered jobless.

The same curse placed on today’s Men in their thirties that they cannot dream of building their own houses when most of our parents at thirty owned at least one house.

The same curse that has driven several young Nigerians abroad in search of greener pastures when the majority of our parents grew up, schooled in Nigeria and could afford a decent life here.

The same curse that sees most people scrambling to own a foreign passport.

The same curse which has led most couples to settle for not more than two kids because of the fear of not being to cater for them when most of our parents had four kids on the average.

YES, we SINGLES (whether – male or female) are all under that curse called poverty.

What however baffles me though is that everyone puts pressure on the Spinster. Why not the Bachelor in his thirties? Who says he doesn’t also need to be delivered of an ancestral curse?

While evil lives among us, the reality is that our economy has deteriorated very badly and so our men are becoming more individualistic. A lot of bachelors are saying “I can’t foot my bills let alone bear the burden of a spouse”. Women are more educated and are saying, “rather than starve while waiting for Mr. Right to show up, I’ll work hard to build a career.” And as Dr. Myles Monroe said in one of his teachings, all the energy the women are supposed to use to support their spouses as ‘Help meets’ they are putting into their career. So is that such a bad thing that she is now called, CURSED?

Truth is times have changed. Once upon a time Nigerian women got married at 18 years, after sometime they began to get married in their twenties, today some women are getting married in their thirties. Some say 30 is the new 20.

Whatever, the case, another reality is that not all will get married, not all who get married will have children so just take each day as it comes and live life.

And according to a quote my friend Dante has on his desk:

“If you are waiting for the love of your life, STOP; they will be waiting when you starting doing what you love”.